Parenting: When Your Young Adult Child Returns Home to Live

Do you worry about how to help your adult child get through this time and make good decisions?
Do you worry about your adult child’s stresses?
Do you sometimes feel overwhelmed by dealing with your adult child’s return home and related tensions?
 

Join a Small Group Discussion Series
Led by Sherry Pomerantz, PhD
We will talk about the challenges of dealing with your adult child and guiding principles for addressing issues of this life stage
 

For information, fee, and to register:
(610) 664-8519
or
EMAIL
 

The ages from 18- 29 are described as either an extension of adolescence or “emerging adulthood.” Either way, some navigate through the stage more smoothly and others encounter glitches that make this stage more difficult. One set of obstacles appears to be difficulty in moving to the next level of independence and, what is called, individuation. They may have a difficult time leaving home for college or not be able to commit to post-high school training, may find it hard to identify a work/career direction (either in not identifying a major or not identifying work opportunities), or have difficulty developing age-appropriate relationships.
 

Some young adults who find navigating this stage more difficult end up living at home for practical reasons, such as saving for graduate school or to pay off loans or helping the family financially. The time spent at home can be helpful for the young adult and, often times, is managed well by the family.
 

However, it is also not uncommon for this living situation to create tension in the household. For example, in one family, the young adult may not feel so stressed, but the parents are increasingly anxious and express concerns that their child “will never get a job.” In another household, the family may allow events to unfold, but issues develop about rules and roles while they are in this transition stage. In a third family, the young adult becomes increasingly upset and overwhelmed by the self-imposed pressure to get on with her life. She may become increasingly irritable, and unable to take the necessary steps to change her situation.
 

Under these circumstances, with anxiety and frustration growing, family members may begin to struggle in relationships. Parents may disagree on how to help and may begin to argue over these and then other issues. Child and parents may also argue about household and daily activities.
 

If you search the internet for “boomerang children” and parents, there are a number of articles that describe the phenomenon and list 5 or 6 ways to live with your returning child. These articles offer some helpful suggestions. However, there are few opportunities for parents to talk to other parents about their experiences and to share thoughts and suggestions.
 

My therapy work with parents who are coping with this situation led to the creation of a Small Group Discussion Series for Parents of Young Adults who have Returned Home to Live.